For Tatay and Nanay on their 51st

Last Sunday, my tita, dad and tito treated my lolo and lola to an early dinner in celebration of their 51st wedding anniversary. 

Nakakatuwa sila pag masdan. Kahit na para silang aso at pusa kung magbangayan, iba pa din ang itsura ng away ng mag-asawang 51 years nang nagsasama. Hehehe!

Wish ko? I-treat ang lolo ko ng Tenderloin Steak. ‘Yung gagamit sya ng steak knife. Nag-uulyanin na ang lolo ko. Hinahanap na niya ang buhay na mayroon sya noong nangingibang bansa pa sya. Binabalikan nya yung mga panahong ganoon ang madalas nyang kainin.

Para sa lola ko, I want to spend one whole day with her. I want to treat her to wherever she likes. Hindi sya mapaghanap. Ang gusto lang niya ay yung pakikinggan ang kwento nya. Yun ang gusto kong gawin. Makipagkwentuhan nang walang humpay sa lola ko.

Sana mas matagal pa silang magsama. Sana maging mas sweet pa sila sa isa’t isa sa mga susunod pang taon. I hope they continue to love each other despite age, memory gap and senility. I love them so much.

Impatient

Weekend. Saturday morning, I’m still in bed suffering from ladies’ monthly sickness. I sometimes hate getting moments like these, give me the chance to think of things I should not be thinking about.

I opened my previous yahoo mail address where some memories are. This time, I did it on purpose. I wanted to see what my reaction would be once I come across them. Nothing but gratitude. I am glad. If ever I felt sad, that is because “sayang” sya. Because honestly, with the people I meet now, with the individuals I consider to be potentials, he stands out still. Sa isang bagay lang naman talaga sya pumalya, yun nga lang… sa pinakaimportante pa. I hope I am not trying to find him in everyone I meet. I think I am not. Just that, the things I look for are the ideals I have and just so fortunate he somewhat has them. Wah! Ayoko na magdwell.

I feel I am becoming so impatient lately. I want to be able to earn enough and get my own car. I want to travel. I want an Asian cruise at least. I want to do a constant volunteer work. I want to get another job. I want to get this and that. I want to do this and that. I am impatient. I know, I know, it is wrong. Everything remains to be uncertain. That’s why, whenever I pray that HE lets me pass the test, I also pray that HE makes me pure and worthy to receive the GREAT blessing. I only have three months to pray about it. Limited time to plead. Pakiramdam ko? Takot na takot na ako.

That is why I try to divert my attention. Minsan sa mga less important things pa. First time I will tell about him. There is this one person. Never will I disclose his name, kaya itatago na lamang natin sya sa pangalang, “Akala ko sayang ka”. Hahaha! Effort na effort to keep his identity. I have been giving so much time and attention towards this person. Feeling ko kasi talaga ok sya. Challenging, mabait, tahimik, funny, successful, goal-oriented, family person, sweet and mysterious. He makes me smile even with simple things. And, he got me really occupied. Rare that a guy does that. I feel I have to brag about him more pero it is funny I can no longer think of words to do that. Not that there are no more to say. Siguro bad trip lang ako ngayon sa kanya. Maybe he is pre-occupied with his own thing lately when I, on the other hand, is done with my pleading and I am now in my relaxation mode. Have so much time to spend for him pero sya naman ang wala. Basta. Siguro hindi nga sya. I have to get back on track. Let him pass. To be that someone kasi… You have to show me that you GENUINELY care. You have to show me that you give me the attention I want even if it entails a little more from you. If you can’t give me that, then baka hindi nga pwede.

Hahaha. Cluttered thoughts today. SUSPECT: Month’s visit. Hahahaha!:-D

Para sa TAONG PAINTINDI

Hayy… Naku! Bakit ba may mga taong napaka-PAINTINDI?!!!

Magkano ka ba? Mahal ka ba para intindihin ka? Hay naku. Hindi talaga tayo magkakasundo. At AKO na lang ang nag-iilusyon na may FRIENDSHIP sa kabila ng differences natin. Nakakapang-init ka ng dugo! Nakakasira ka ng araw! Nakakastress ka! Isa kang malaking NEGATIVE ENERGY NA DAPAT DINEDEADMA.

Never ka naman nakatulong. Ano bang magandang nadulot mo sakin? Wala! Isa ka pa sa mga taong nagparamdam sa akin na wala akong value, well in fact, isa itong malaking PROJECTION.

Tigil-tigilan na! What made me hold on to your friendship? My idealisms! Pero crap those ideals, can’t deal with you! Tigilan na! Kanya-kanya na!

Whew! Naiinis talaga ako! This is my only place to rant. Sorry.. 

26 yo (celebration)

Big deal?

Of course! Never did a day celebrating another year of this blessed life just passes by. How did it go?

Monday (November 30): Lunch with my parents and brother. Missing my ate, kuya jd and Kitoy, of course. Spa with Mommy and Paulo. My parents with Dwight chose to spend the holiday with Gail’s family for a swimming get together.

Tuesday (December 1): Supposed to have dinner date with my brother, Dwight. Pero ndi natuloy. He chose to push through with a previously planned dinner with Gail and Tita Shiela and other friends.

Wednesday (December 2): Went home early from office. I was looking forward to a dinner date with my parents which I already have asked from them that Monday. When I got home, they were at Gail’s condo unit. We ended up eating dinner with Gail and her family. Nag-bless si papa ng unit ni Gail. Doon nauwi ang dinner date. alam na pala nila they’ll be spending the night sa 1902. Parang walang nakaalala sa request ko that I be able to spend time with them. Natulog lang sila after dinner and then past 12 midnight na kami nag-Baclaran.

Thursday (December 3): Dinner with Earl and Zeena. At least this time, inuna naman ako. We talked about dinner with friends the next day. Time for myself.

Friday (December 4): Truly a birthday eve. Invited friends over for dinner: earl, zeena, justy, winston, maizie, lorena, jason, rona, chito, andrei, raquel, corrine, jordan, mona, jayric, ia, and ramil. Justy, Lorena and I cooked. Nagkulang ang food so I had to have pizza and pasta delivered. Ramil brought a cake for me. Buti na lang. Nakawish ako. Hehe! Earl, Justy, Winston and Ramil welcomed my birthday with me.

Late na kami umuwi (morning na pala). Kaya napagalitan ako.:’(

Saturday (December 5):Supposed to be my day but got so busy with Diane’s wedding. Happy to be of help. Except nakakainis ang mga mahahaderang ninang nya. Arranged stuff for the church ceremony. Co-hosted the reception with Jomai. Buti nagjive kahit papano. Never fails naman kami ni Jom. Haha! He treated us to coffee. Sabi nya treat nya daw kasi birthday ko pero feeling ko treat nya din kasi manager na sya. Woohoo! Marie, Jab, Kahrs and Erbie went to our house to sleepover at uminom. Mamsy and mama oma prepared dinner. Nagstay na din highschool friends to have a little drink. Natuwa ako kasi nagjive din high school and college friends. Jomai stayed until almost 4 in the morning (sabik sa tao). Hehehe!

Sunday (December 6): Most awaited. Time with my family. My treat (supposedly)! A lot of other issues. I cant tell here, it may reach people concerned. Cannot, for now. I’ll keep it to myself muna. Mahirap na. Bottomline: ako pa daw ang walang gana. Ako pa ang walang energy for them. Please refer above (from Monday-Wednesday). Well, what’s FAMILY TIME? Issues?! Wala (labas sa ilong)! All I wanted was a little time with my family. And I rest my case.

My birthday? Hmmm… it was a lot better last year. But generally, it went well. At least better than an ordinary day. And realizations? Have a lot… Now that I am 26 yo.