Oplan: Passive ME

Exactly two months before the first Sunday of the bar examinations. I am not yet done with the first reading phase of all the bar subjects. What got me to write?

I am procrastinating! Literally doing it and attributing it to people. Well in fact, it is all just me. I got myself to things I am not supposed to meddle with. Now, I am just so hooked; therefore, should be bound to be a little bit subdued if I am to set my priorities right. Not that I intend to be less of a friend or of a sister or less of who I am to them, but I know this is what I have to do… now, for myself.

This is what sacrifice entails. I have to do this. If that would mean I will be less available… I am sorry. I know they will understand. But will I be able to sustain it? Will I be able to understand myself? I hope so.

Things are getting out of hand. Got myself too affected. So I had to do something for myself. Maybe it is also telling me something else–that my stand on certain matters has been affected by what I have been all along. I have been bad. Maybe, I really have to make an active effort to get myself off it this time. Maybe I have not been objective the whole time though I may have seemed to try.

The fact remains, I have to be a bit more passive from this moment on. I have to be a little half-hearted of things not mine and be more focused and enthusiastic of what is given me. I have to trudge my own path. Let people make their own decisions, resolve things their way, do things based on how they want to do it while I EYE ON MY OWN CHALLENGE and  most importantly, LIVE GOD’s WILL FOR ME.

Resolved. Ready? I hope. Crossing my fingers. Three-day hibernation is my first step to being a bit detached but myself. Still forgiving and loving myself for a temporary me I have to put on.