I will ALWAYS love you (my way).

Years passed.

I know you are the first person I have known to love romantically. Most especially, you are the first person I have known to love unconditionally. I did inspite what we had before. Physical distance separated us. We’ve gone our own ways. People came to make us forget or at least set aside the thought of each other.

Destiny had its way of bringing us back together, at least the way I have viewed it. We did. I am glad we have crossed each other’s paths once more. I never really have left your road, I just took some turns, made some stopovers.

However, circumstances had to again come in between us. The realizations, again, would have to interfere and work their way to part us. Change of mind would have to, again, separate me from you.

I was brokenhearted. But risks cannot be taken at this point. Chances are last option. I cannot go beyond what I can do at the moment. I cannot make any investment. I cannot open my heart even if it is you. I cannot tell you “I love you” even if I want to and even if it may be a way to have you.

Let me just dally in my momentary sadness instead for later on, I know I will still and always will love you, my way. I shall carry with me the thought that behind your facade is ONE of the nicest MEN I have come across this lifetime. And though we don’t tell, I know we know what this we have. Let us keep it. I shall bring with me the feel of your cuddle, just now we did. I shall carry the thought of the sweet little things that made me emotionally attached once more, despite my defenses.

You had me then.. with your waking up in the middle of the night to stretch my feet to help me with my night cramps, your getting into the toilet with me and tapping my back and washing my face from the ruins I made for being drunk, your telling me your encouraging words. I have superlative things to say about you, you may even be surprised. I have just not been too vocal about it because you know I am not that with you, we are never that with each other.

You have me now with your cuddle, with your unintended ways to show you care because it manifests to me that I have the Man I kept my faith with and for, your carefree moves which effortlessly bring me to the light side of life I rarely reach in the normal course of things.

Ni hindi ko kailangang malungkot. Hindi ko kailangang hayaan na gumuho ang mundo ko. Kung bakit, hindi ko alam. Basta ang alam ko… Sa’yo, ang sarap sabihin at maramdamang inlove ako sa pamamaraang alam ko sa ngayon.

For Dee

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dee!

I have already told you before… I am always proud of how each and every event of your life molded you to what you are now. Despite and inspite the imperfection of what it had offer you, you have still realized the best from it–your character as a mother, your beauty as a friend, your goodness as a daughter.

I am with you always. I will continue praying with you and for you.

*big hug*