My Fourth Persons in a Quarterlife

I am now trying to catch up.

November 14 (Friday)– My Fourth Persons: Papa Taba and Mama Oma

Parte kayo ng aking kabataan.

Hindi ko malilimutan ang mga panahon noong ipinapupunta ninyo kami sa inyong bahay para ipasyal kami at pakainin sa Jollibee. Hindi ko makakalimutan na kayo ang kasama ko nang una akong matuto mag-bike sa PICC. Kayo din po ang kasama ko nang una akong matuto tumakbo kasabay ng maraming tao sa Folk Arts Theater. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga Linggo na isinasama ninyo kaming magkakapatid sa mga lugar na inyong pinupuntahan na hindi pa rin namin nararating noon–Zoo, circus, Enchanted Kingdom at kung saan-saan pa.

Pinili ninyong makapag-ambag sa kung ano kami ngayon. Hindi lamang sa pamamagitan ng pagpapalaki ninyo sa aking ina subalit ang paghubog din sa kung ano kami, at ako, ngayon. Hindi lamang ang aking ina ang inyong inaruga, ipinadaloy pa ninyo sa aming magkakapatid ang pagmamahal na ito. Apaw ang pasasalamat ko sa inyo.

Hindi dito natapos ang pakikibahagi ninyo sa aking buhay, hanggang sa aking pagtanda, tiniyak ninyong kasama ko kayo. Sa bawat aral, sadya man ninyong itinuturo sa akin o hindi, sa bawat pag-aalaga at pag-aalala, sa pagiging bukas sa aking mga munting pangangailangan, kasama na rin po diyan ang mga pangungulit… Maraming marami pong salamat. Sa lahat ng mga iyon, presensiya ninyo at pagmamahal ang kalakip na siyang aking ipagkakatangi.

Hindi man po naging perpekto ang inyong naging buhay, marami man pong mga pagsubok sa inyong pamilya, tiniyak naman po ninyong kayo ay magiging mabubuting lolo at lola sa aming inyong mga apo. At dahil po rito, mahal na mahal po namin kayo! I love you po, Papa and Mama!

My Third Persons in a Quarterlife

It is difficult to keep track of this plan especially when caught up with a lot of work and school matters. But I shall continue with this. A tribute to the persons who happened and stayed during this quarterlife.

November 13 (Thursday)- My third persons: Tatay Nano and Nanay Gor

An sabi ng marami, lahat daw ng magaganda at mabubuting bagay ay may pinagmumulan na siyang kasing buti. Lubos akong naniniwala rito sapagka’t tunay nga namang kayo ang mabubuting puno ng aking ama. Lubos po ang aking pasasalamat sa inyo sa pamamaraan ng pagpapalaki ninyo sa kanya na siya namang gumagabay din sa amin. Kung hindi rin lamang po sa inyong tiyaga, pag-aalaga at pagmamahal, ay hindi rin naman po naman matatamasa ang mga iyon. Ang lahat po ng inyong ibinigay ay dumaloy hanggang sa amin.

Kasama po kayo sa aking mga pangarap. Sa bawat daan na aking tinatahak, kasama ko po kayo, sa puso at sa isip ko.. Maraming marami pong salamat. Naaalala ko pa ang tiyaga na inyong ibinigay noong bata pa ako, sa tuwing magbabakasyon kami ng aking kapatid sa inyong bahay. Talaga naman pong alaala iyon na hindi po namin makakalimutan. Ang bawat bigay, ang bawat pag-aalala at ang simpleng pagtabi ninyo sa amin sa pagtulog, mga bagay na nagpasaya sa aming kabataan na aming lubos na ipagkakatangi at ipagpapasalamat sa Diyos. Ang puso ko’y lubos ang kasiyahan na kayo po ang aking naging lolo at lola. Para po sa marami pang taon. Isa pa pong sangkapat na taon para sa akin kapiling kayo at sa aking puso.

My second persons in a Quarterlife

  This will surely be a long countdown to my day. Hehe! But it is fun to be able to reminisce and get the chance to do what I have and can do before the day.:-)

November 12 (Wednesday)– My Second persons: Ate Kenneth and Dwight

A year between us. They say that it is more often than not a breeding point for jealousy, worst, of rivalry. We already have resigned of that fact. We’ve proven them wrong. Yes, there were lapses. But we’ve made it through.

When you left, it caused me sadness. I thought then that we have so much to share when we are together and distance can only be a hindrance.. fashion, foods, jokes, advices. But you had to pursue your dream… thus, i had to bid you off. When you’ve had your trial, how I wish miles were just inches. When I had mine, I could think of no closest person to share it with but you. You’re the closest girl friend that I have, ate.. Though we don’t tell.

But you’ve made it a point that your presence is constantly felt. You’ve ever been so generous, available and unconditional. You are thanked. So much so we do not have the right and ample words to express it. You have it, the gift of a big heart which very few are willing to impart. THANK YOU!

Ate, I’ve told you already but I shall tell you still. You’ve made me proud. You’ve set a good example. You’ve given me a picture of who I should be like–a good daughtrer, a generous sister, a loving partner, and most especially now, a courageous mother. The fact that you’ve willingly taken the challenge, venture into a new chapter unhesitatingly, is so much reason for me to make you my role model. You’ve painted a picture of what a good person is. I am so grateful you are part of my quarterlife.

To Kuya, We do not have the best sister-brother relationship. Sometimes it is even too bad as to cause hurts, curses, tears and cold air. We are opposite poles: you keep quiet, I talk. You’re passive, I’m otherwise. You want to let it pass, I want to resolve it.

We’ve caused each other pains and tears. But whether we both admit it or not, we are attractign poles. We’ve also been the coolest and silliest siblings. Hahaha! We can also make each other cry of laughter. Kahit na ba corny ako.

Kuya, if I’ve hurt you with my authority, I am truly sorry. If you think that my best is not really what I believe it is for you, I am sorry for falling short. If I’ve been overreacting, I am sorry. I do not intend to assert my authority indiscriminately. Self-serving sabihin pero, Kuya, I just really want to be part of your life. That’s why. I just so would like to contribute to the man you would be just as a bigger sister should. If it appears not that helpful, if it be manifested wrongly, I am sorry.

Just please bear in mind that I am your sister. I have the best intentions for you. I remain here. Mahal kita. kuya!

My first persons in a quarterlife

I really planned something different for my birthday this year. I always do different things every year. My birthday is big deal for me. I always see to it that I do things to end a year and welcome a new one. For this year, I decided to make a countdown. However, instead of waiting for “the day” to come, I planned to make it a little more exciting by doing what I have and what I can do. It starts today.

November 11 (Tuesday)– My first persons: Papa and Mama

You both have showed me what the world is. You both have chosen me over the odds and difficulties you had then, and the cruelties, as well as the better life you thought then that you could have. You’ve made a decision to take the mission God has created you for me. For that, I am primarily grateful.

It did not end there. You had to raise me up. You have to in a way you thought the society has obliged you to do. You’ve willingly took the challenge and did it better as you tried to bring me up in the way God wanted you to. I am then more than just grateful.

I was never an easy daughter. I was actually a pain, a real one at that. I am sincerely sorry. I am sorry for causing you both tears and heartaches. I am sorry for being myself which caused you so much pain.

Sabi nila, sobrang saya at proud daw ng mga magulang tuwign nagtatagumpay ang mga anak at pinupuri sila ng mga tao sa maayos nilang pagpapalaki sa mga ito. ano pa nga ba’t mga magulang ang siyang tumatayong halimbawa ng mga anak. Lagi ninyo ring sinasabi na ang tagumpay namin ay tagumpay ninyo ring maituturing.

We, and I, have failed to show and say that we likewise feel the pride of what you both are. Whenever people commend you for being good and dedicated servants of God, it reflects on us. We feel proud. Whenever people thank you for bringing them closer to God, we feel we share the credit. Papa, Mama, you make us proud. Your goodness shared to others flows on us.

Maraming, maraming salamat. Thank you for appearing so proud and for being whenever we achieve. Thank you for sometimes choosing to keep quiet when I am not in the mood despite your excitement to hear from me. Thank you for never failing to provide.

I will be 25 in less than a month. My quarterlife had given me the best of this world–the coolest and most loving of parents. Salamat po! Beyond words will I be grateful to God for giving you to me. Mahal na mahal ko po kayo.

My hand hold

 Yours is a hand to guide. Yours is a hand to support. Yours is a hand to grab in times like these now. My Source of comfort. My Source of hope. Yours is a hand to hold especially when everyone else let go. You have offered it so unconditionally, to lead, to protect, to arm. Seizing mine like You want to hold on to it forever, even if I sometimes want to let Yours go.

I am still in repair… however, intertwined with the fingers of this wounded hand is Yours so warm, so accepting, so unreserved, yet invaluable. I am bound to keep Yours no matter what and when this darning shall take me.

Thank You for keeping me. Thank You for bearing with the loudest of my cries and hearing the softest of them. You are the Ruler of my heart, keeping it Yours and Yours alone. YOU ARE MY SOUL HOLD.