labdude’s niche

dude! astig! you looked so good doing what you do best. it was so nice seeing you so engrossed with what you love to do. could never be less than proud of you! ni hindi ko na narinig yung kanta ni fred. got my eyes on you. just as how i have imagined and dreamt– see you perform on stage. i am so proud. though you care less about what i think. it does not matter to me. all i know was that i was so overwhelmed to see you play your guitar like a pro.

nothing will i want than just to give you a pat on your back. even just that. i will not ask for more. i know even that i am not allowed. but i have my hopes it will happen. even just that. just to let you know, even by a simple pat on your back, that I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR NICHE! I know you have not lost it ever, you have just somehow missed opportunities for it sometime along the way. but seeing you that night, hearing you play, wow (double wow!)! it was like seeing you then and now, and i am still in awe!

thus, i was left with nothin but tears when i went back to the condo. i know i could not give you that. i could not give you even the least of what i think i can. could not help it. napaiyak na lang talaga ako. and, then again, my thread of hope. another reason to break. i needed random reasons to believe my faith is leading me somewhere.

argylle’s take:

             Syempre doubt is inconsistent with faith. Something to hold on is faith. Kahit the thinnest and tiniest thread of hope, andun pa din yun. Let things fall to place at the right time, mare. x x x

              Hold on to it. Wala naman mawawala sa’yo. Kahit subconsciously lang at least you know in your heart na you never abandoned him as a friend if he needs you. at least that fact alone would make you feel better kahit unrequited.:-)

mish in a text message made her presence felt and subtly touched on the matter:

             Do not look for things or people that aren’t there, just always be thankful for what you have; because the more you look for something not with you, the more you find somethign wrong with what you have. There are miracles everyday, if you look hard enough.

             Sabi nga sa isang classic short story, GOD SEES BUT WAITS. x x x Everytime i think about my own frustrations, sinasabi ko na lang that there is a Grand Plan, and that i am still blessed. You are still blessed.

My random reasons to keep my faith. I will. Maybe i just got so frustrated, blurring my mind of the “surrender” i have previously made. Indeed, HE may just be waiting. For HIS very own perfect time. HE may think that i do not need or deserve it best just yet.