hoping sincerely it is just the time of the month

i really hate what is going on inside my head. i cannot get over it. i am really trying my best to forget but i can’t. it really should have been a lot better if i didn’t get a glimpse today. i would have been satisfied with the thought. i do not know when this will end. it is getting more intense lately. is it because of the time of the month? i really hope so. on may 29 it is. i do not know what else i should do to be better. good thing i have God to surrender it with. if not, i would have felt more helpless than how i do..

ang pagkakaalam ko, when you really want something, your heart will find its way to shout it out for everyone else to hear… more importantly, God,who is the only One who has easy and cloudless access to it, can know what you really want. i have been wanting something for the longest time now. or at least i knew or insist what it is. but ive been hearing God’s answers in three ways: yes, no, maybe. I just have to wait. really wait maybe… until my heart is pure and my intentions are chaste, God surely will give it if He deems it proper. Please hear my heart shouting. You hold my life in the palm of Your hands and everything in it, please grant this heart desire according to Your plan. and with that, please give me the patience to wait and the wisdom to know how You willed it.

i want to read “five people you meet in heaven” again. Zeena has a copy. i will.

it is earl’s birthday today. we do not know what is up for today but i think i should do something. a surprise maybe. i will think about something. surely i will.:-)